Monday, January 14, 2008

Don't Know Karate...

So a wild and wooly couple of days are behind us now, a joy to experience, but draining.

Tigger and I took our first bike ride of the year, and while I had had a quick jaunt out to run errands on New Year's Day, it was the first time I really got to use my new wheels, which were pretty rocking (not that anyone cares, but it's an XTR hub and open pro CD rim on the rear, and non-matching ultegra/open pro CD front), and roll out to the ends of the earth without drag.

So, Saturday had the ride, had some brunch on the way, and then rolled down to the beach and watched the sun set before spinning home. Couldn't have asked for nicer (though my feet were a little bit cold when I got home, I underestimated the cold slightly.)

Yesterday, miracles were on order as I watched in absolute amazement as my New York Giants delivered a knockout blow to the Dallas Cowboys. I'm pretty sure the neighbors think we are completely unhinged, but they can relax, it's almost over anyhow, at most another week or three (can't allow myself to really start believing, it's just too much to imagine them doing more than hopefully showing up and being respectable in Green Bay next weekend.)

Finally, I think some news from today has convinced me that Wesley Snipes is crazy enough for TEN men, if you just scratch the surface a tiny little bit. Not only is he claiming that he didn't think he had to pay taxes (typical Patriot fringe group line of thought) amounting to $14,000,000.00, just stare at it for a moment and take in all those zeroes... BUT he also is closely aligned with these guys!

You thought Scientology was wacky? How about a black israelite organization with...


The belief that 144,000 black israelites will be taken away on a SPACESHIP! They will of course return a thousand years later, to do battle with the Luciferians. I'm sure you're all as relieved as I am. Following in the leader's footsteps, as he himself arrived on a space ship that was conveniently misinterpreted as a comet.

A prophet who used to have an office in Coney Island!

A disclaimer about how they're totally not a cult on their website!**

A prophet who also claims he's an Indian Chief! Of a tribe that actually didn't exist! That supposedly came over from Africa on a land bridge***

And finally, a prophet who is also a convicted child molester.****

So, I guess this proves that it is possible to make Tom Cruise look almost

(deep breath, I can't really believe I'm saying this)


*Has since been seized by local government and knocked down, but Wesley did want to build a security force training facility alongside of it comprising a few hundred acres... permission was not granted by local authorities, and a pity it is too.

**I never realized that's what you needed to look for when getting into weird organizations with completely batshit cosmologies and self-proclaimed deities. "Hey are you guys a cult?" "No." "Right, good thing. I was just getting a little worried."

***I suppose he just didn't think construction worker or policeman would work as well for him. Possibly the costume shop was out of those outfits the day he was shopping.

****If you review the details, the fact that he had over a thousand counts that were originally going to trial that were pared down to 200, in the largest child molestation case ever directed at one person is truly unbelievable.

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