In Which I Discharge Duty

So I have been really busy, and frankly I am not a ray of sunshine in general.

I figured I'd save my bile until the end of the holiday season, and let you all get to the edge of your own roof over these past few weeks.

That is the B.S. answer. The real one? I've been lazy, I've been tired, it's been cold, it's gotten dark at 4pm. I don't expect you to love me, and like a dysfunctional parent I don't expect either of the two of you to show up at my funeral. It's a deal, right? Good. Now go pour me a nice tall cocktail and empty the ashtray, alright?

I understand this is the time where the understanding is that I give a seasonal/annual retrospective on things, and I am working that out as I go along, but FIRST, a few thoughts on New Year's itself:

First off, having New Year's day brunch is way more fun than having a New Year's Eve party, in that you worry less about people coming. And, you feel okay with no one coming and just starting to drink a 10AM. Hey now! That and: it's a bit easier to make finger food that doesn't involve wrapping or stuffing things (preposition) other things. Just a mental note, thought I'd share it with you.

Watching New Year's ROCKIN' Eve (now with Carson Daly??? Does this mean he's made the most recent deal with the devil? Does this mean my great grandkids will watch an eerily youthful Carson Daly in a North Face parka calling out the final ten of 2298?) I was reflecting:

1. On how awesome NY1 (our local New York cable channel, with news etc.) is. They didn't have a delay on, and when asking around as to what people's resolutions were, one really eloquent guy just YELLS out: "To travel the FUCKING WORLD!!!!" Right on, NY1, and happy NYE to you as well.

2. Lenny Kravitz was on the main network self-abuse fest, and Edgily Introduced His Performance "Off my new, 8th studio album 'Bring it On'!" And couldn't help but think:
How many people just yelled out "Play ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY!"
aaand.... Dude. Lenny. I never was a big fan, but please, stop trying to act this way. I think it's a fair rule of thumb that when you play "New Year's Rockin' Eve" you are no longer The Edgy Outsider Guy. It's time to put away that set of wigs and praying mantis glasses. Do it for the children, and their children's children who are one day going to watch Carson do the Rockin' Eve with their kids rolling their eyes by the imitation holo-fireplace.

As to the other thing: a guy at work asked whether I had resolutions... I never do, I told him.

I don't, to be honest, ever make real resolutions. They just make you finish the tub of ice cream, metaphorically, when you've promised not to ever touch it again, and I don't need that added motivation to carry on sinning once I've inevitably started, but I do have some ideas:

I will do less drinking, and do more cycling.

I will do less eating gyros, and do more running.

I will do less listening to music, and more making music.

I will watch less television, and read more.

I will read less, and write more.

I will finally get back on a training schedule, and make a ride up to Nyack, which I have shocking never done so far (big cyclist destination for road nazis). I will also finally finish a regular century, and attempt a double metric.

And, I will finally start convincing this country to start singing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" again. This shit has GOT to stop. Baseball is supposed to be fun, people. Let's let the seventh inning stretch get back to ball scratching, and getting a fresh beer before they close the concession stands to prevent fistfights, and let it stop being a grand x0,000 person act of waving an 80 foot flag over the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

I think the troops probably miss hearing the old chestnut as well, and they deserve peanuts and cracker jack as much as the rest of us do. That, and frankly... do you really think that the most purple, tacky, jingoistic song in this nation's great musical history is actually going to make a difference to anyone, other than destroying one of the oldest traditions in our national pastime?

And if we destroy our national pastime's greatest traditions...

Don't the terrorists win, people? Don't they?

(And while we're at it... using that phrase is the whole reason they all keep on trying to win. So stop thinking that way, you're not sheep.)

Happy New Year people!